Verbal Communicative Relating
Poor communication is one of the "character defects" of co-dependence. Personally, troubles here have prompted adding this to the Essential Disciplines list of late as I find myself shutting down and shutting up all too often. My preference is to consider things awhile before commenting, but it gets frustrating for others and ultimately myself. I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing or just plain don't know what to say. Yet in reality, we don't have to all the answers right away, we can simply respond, "I see," or "I understand," or "Okay, let me get back to you on that." The important thing is to respond, relate, communicate! After all, communication is derived from communion, relating intimately with others, so cutting others off undermines trust by breaking that important bond. The dark side here is closing down and isolating, checking out, particularly in times of trouble when we all most need to know others are going to be there for us, we aren't trapped and alone. Even when the dust settles it's important to stay in touch, to check in regularly, whether during a conversation or even as days, months, and years pass. This is my commitment, to "commune" with others, openly, honestly,and consistently. You also may want to check out the post and notes on very helpful Non Violent Communication.