Many kids were fortunate and got lots of
support and guidance growing up building skills in areas such as relationships,
education, economics, sexuality, spirituality, art, music, self care, and many
others. These folks often have wonderful, amazing, and satisfying lives, and
may continue to receive valuable assistance, support, and advantages from
family, friends, and others through-out their lives. These fortunate ones
really get to blossom and bloom in many ways, and their hopes and dreams often
come to fruition.
But what about the others who didn't get much
help? The dis-advantaged whose needs where instead neglected in many ways? The
arc of their lives takes a much lower trajectory as they navigate life on
limited training, support, and assistance. The lack of help can also result in
a nagging perhaps unconscious lack of self esteem that dogs them as years roll
by.
And what of those who were passively
neglected or actively abused in all the ways that the fortunate ones were
mentored; such as relationships, education, economics, sexuality, spirituality
and all the others? All the skills and tools the lucky ones received, were
often not not just broken for these unfortunate ones, but actively and serially
wrecked and ruined in many ways.
Many of these grew up in a war zone,
battlefield, rat-race, slave state, prison camp, living hell that haunts them
and replays in the back of their minds. Over the years as the condemning voice
is internalized and believed to be real until their lies become our truth.
Somehow we couldn't believe others were responsible for our misery, so we must
be to blame, that it must be our fault. Even things like parents divorcing,
death of a sibling, or family financial difficulties can cause to feel guilty.
Many of us were told by parents and/or others that: "Your best will never be good enough.
You will always fall short. You are unattractive and ugly on every level. I'm
ashamed of you. You're a piece of crap. A shit for brains. The best you can do
is become my puppet, my pawn, a reflection of me. You will never have a real
relationship because you are a nobody! Everyone despises you. The only thing you're
worthy of is rejection and abandonment
You are so grotesque you need to stay hidden. I hate who you are. You
are vile. Don't show who you are, or you will be disgraced. You are the walking
dead. Everyone is going to hurt and reject you! I wish you had never been
born."
Most of us are somewhere in the middle, as we
got some of the things we needed, and not others, so the arc of our lives has
many highs and lows. In recovery we also come to realize that we often continue
to seek out people and situations that mirror our original upbringing in a unconscious
and dysfunctional attempt to heal our early wounds. Even worse, we seek out the
people and situations least likely to achieve this powerful but usually unseen desire.
Sad indeed.
It seems the powers that be, often our
teachers, bosses, pastors, priests, corporations, cultures, societies, politicians,
media, and often our family, friends, and others want to keep us there under
their thumb. Do you want kowtow, conform, and submit to those who really don't
care about you as their servants, and slaves?! Will we acquiesce and accept the
situation perhaps reluctantly, but without protest? Will we comply, agree, or give
consent by silence and without objection?
We must face our complacency; the feeling of
quiet security, while unaware or unconcerned about dangers, troubles, and
problems that prevent us from taking action. We must not surrender or cease to resist
problems and unwelcome demands. We must not knuckle under and accept other's
power over us or yield and cooperate when pressured to do what they tell us
despite our best interests.
It's time to
be a non-conformist, a maverick, individualist, dissenter, protester, and a
free-thinking, free wheeling, free spirited freedom fighter!!! Maybe we are a
motley crew of misfits! So what?! Why would we want to fit it in into any of the
boxes they make for us anyway?! Are we outcasts? Hell yes, because they tried
to cast us into their prison and hell and we aren't going for it!
We followed
their spoken or unspoken rules of don't talk, trust, or feel, and don't look,
listen, or heal far too long! We are free! The bullshit has made us
sad as hell and were not going to fake it anymore. Now were mad as hell and
were not going to take it anymore! We won't back up and we won't back down!
Were gonna whup ass, and kick ass like the badasses We really are!!! It's time
to be the lover, artist, magician, wizard, warrior, king or queen, and most of
all superheros, we need to be for ourselves, our families, our friends, and for
all humanity and life!!!
We are calling BULLSHIT on that
BULLSHIT!!!
We weren't made to be followers, sheep,
servants, or slaves to anybody who tries to take advantage of us and abuse us! We
were made to be creative individuals who are courageous, ingenious, innovative,
inventive, imaginative, original, and visionary! We are meant to be ourselves
squared!
WE ARE THE REBEL ALLIANCE AND THIS IS OUR FIGHT SONG AND WAR CRY!!!
We can be rebels, a braves, a warriors, revolutionaries,
renegades, visionaries, reformers, pioneers, radicals, fanatics, activists, and
leaders!!! Be an enthusiast, devotee, aficionado, and connoisseur of your
own biggest, boldest, brightest, best,
and most brilliant and beautiful self and life!
Find your drive, greatness, endurance,
motivation, determination, enthusiasm, imagination and inspiration! NOW is the
time to bring about changes, breakthroughs, metamorphosis, and transformation. Be
relentless, resourceful, an over-comer, and a winner! Don't go through life
with your brakes on and a trunk and trailer full of baggage and garbage! Tune
out your inner critic and tune into your cheerleader - Go Team Me!!!
Go ahead and rock the world like an
earthquake, an avalanche, and exploding and erupting volcano, like thunder and
lightning across the sky, like a downpour and raging storm across the world, like
a waterfall, raging river and heaving ocean, like a gigantic tsunami flooding
across the land! Spark a revolution, a brilliant light, a flame, and raging wild
fire of change in our homes, schools, and business, in our neighborhoods,
cities, states, country, and around the world!!!
Tell yourself, convince yourself, implore
yourself everyday that here I go again, and I've got what it takes! This is my day and nothing is going to stop
me! No guts no glory! If I don't take a chance I don't stand a chance! Yes, I
may fail again and again, but I will fail better each
time! It's time to fly like an eagle, walk like a giant, and roar like a lion!
Yes it is a tall order. The difficulties may
be great, but together we are greater! Search for the truth and your fellow
freedom fighters and you will find your true teachers, true communities, and
your True Self!
P.S. The Warrior. We feel we should fight against injustice and evil,
against lies and deception, falsity and deceit. Of course we do it's only natural.
And at Cowboy Dharma it seems we want to fight disease, dysfunction, and
insanity. We want to get fierce and fired up, gather up all our anger and
frustration and focus on our problems. We're mad as hell and we're not going to
take it anymore! We want to make signs and march through the streets chanting
slogans right up to the doors of our foes in a show of solidarity and resolve.
We want to
start a war on drugs, terrorism, poverty, illiteracy and many others. But what
you resist persists. Resistance is futile. Mothers Against Drunk Driving should
be called mothers for safe and sober driving. Because that is really the point.
This becomes really obvious in our internal struggles as we don't want to
destroy our inner wounded child. We need to embrace and care for it. Much the
same for our critical inner parent and adult, as compassion for the pain and
suffering that created these negative energies/entities is our only hope of
overcoming them.
A negative
Higher Power follows suit as it is simply an extension of our critical inner
parent and adult. All of these resulted in a somewhat less obvious but none the
less troublesome false self that also can't be cut off or destroyed. Again our
best hope is recognition, acceptance, compassion, and understanding and hopes
of transformation and integration. There is lightning in their veins and fire
in their bones as well. Power and fuel enough to push us on and pull us through
whatever battles we must face.