Please note: this came out as a rant one day, so quite raw and real. Perhaps best not to "sanitize" it, but rather let it stand as is to inspire others to have a healthy rant now and then. 

Many kids were fortunate and got lots of support and guidance growing up building skills in areas such as relationships, education, economics, sexuality, spirituality, art, music, self care, and many others. These folks often have wonderful, amazing, and satisfying lives, and may continue to receive valuable assistance, support, and advantages from family, friends, and others through-out their lives. These fortunate ones really get to blossom and bloom in many ways, and their hopes and dreams often come to fruition. 

But what about the others who didn't get much help? The dis-advantaged whose needs where instead neglected in many ways? The arc of their lives takes a much lower trajectory as they navigate life on limited training, support, and assistance. The lack of help can also result in a nagging perhaps unconscious lack of self esteem that dogs them as years roll by.

And what of those who were passively neglected or actively abused in all the ways that the fortunate ones were mentored; such as relationships, education, economics, sexuality, spirituality and all the others? All the skills and tools the lucky ones received, were often not not just broken for these unfortunate ones, but actively and serially wrecked and ruined in many ways.

Many of these grew up in a war zone, battlefield, rat-race, slave state, prison camp, living hell that haunts them and replays in the back of their minds. Over the years as the condemning voice is internalized and believed to be real until their lies become our truth. Somehow we couldn't believe others were responsible for our misery, so we must be to blame, that it must be our fault. Even things like parents divorcing, death of a sibling, or family financial difficulties can cause to feel guilty.

Many of us were told by parents and/or others that: "Your best will never be good enough. You will always fall short. You are unattractive and ugly on every level. I'm ashamed of you. You're a piece of crap. A shit for brains. The best you can do is become my puppet, my pawn, a reflection of me. You will never have a real relationship because you are a nobody!  Everyone despises you. The only thing you're worthy of is rejection and abandonment  You are so grotesque you need to stay hidden. I hate who you are. You are vile. Don't show who you are, or you will be disgraced. You are the walking dead. Everyone is going to hurt and reject you! I wish you had never been born." 

Most of us are somewhere in the middle, as we got some of the things we needed, and not others, so the arc of our lives has many highs and lows. In recovery we also come to realize that we often continue to seek out people and situations that mirror our original upbringing in a unconscious and dysfunctional attempt to heal our early wounds. Even worse, we seek out the people and situations least likely to achieve this powerful but usually unseen desire. Sad indeed.

It seems the powers that be, often our teachers, bosses, pastors, priests, corporations, cultures, societies, politicians, media, and often our family, friends, and others want to keep us there under their thumb. Do you want kowtow, conform, and submit to those who really don't care about you as their servants, and slaves?! Will we acquiesce and accept the situation perhaps reluctantly, but without protest? Will we comply, agree, or give consent by silence and without objection?

We must face our complacency; the feeling of quiet security, while unaware or  unconcerned about dangers, troubles, and problems that prevent us from taking action. We must not surrender or cease to resist problems and unwelcome demands. We must not knuckle under and accept other's power over us or yield and cooperate when pressured to do what they tell us despite our best interests.

It's time to be a non-conformist, a maverick, individualist, dissenter, protester, and a free-thinking, free wheeling, free spirited freedom fighter!!! Maybe we are a motley crew of misfits! So what?! Why would we want to fit it in into any of the boxes they make for us anyway?! Are we outcasts? Hell yes, because they tried to cast us into their prison and hell and we aren't going for it!

We followed their spoken or unspoken rules of don't talk, trust, or feel, and don't look, listen, or heal far too long! We are free! The bullshit has made us sad as hell and were not going to fake it anymore. Now were mad as hell and were not going to take it anymore! We won't back up and we won't back down! Were gonna whup ass, and kick ass like the badasses We really are!!! It's time to be the lover, artist, magician, wizard, warrior, king or queen, and most of all superheros, we need to be for ourselves, our families, our friends, and for all humanity and life!!!

We are calling BULLSHIT on that BULLSHIT!!!

We weren't made to be followers, sheep, servants, or slaves to anybody who tries to take advantage of us and abuse us! We were made to be creative individuals who are courageous, ingenious, innovative, inventive, imaginative, original, and visionary! We are meant to be ourselves squared!


We can be rebels, a braves, a warriors, revolutionaries,  renegades, visionaries,  reformers,  pioneers, radicals, fanatics, activists, and leaders!!! Be an enthusiast, devotee, aficionado, and connoisseur of your own biggest, boldest, brightest, best, and most brilliant and beautiful self and life!

Find your drive, greatness, endurance, motivation, determination, enthusiasm, imagination and inspiration! NOW is the time to bring about changes, breakthroughs, metamorphosis, and transformation. Be relentless, resourceful, an over-comer, and a winner! Don't go through life with your brakes on and a trunk and trailer full of baggage and garbage! Tune out your inner critic and tune into your cheerleader - Go Team Me!!!

Go ahead and rock the world like an earthquake, an avalanche, and exploding and erupting volcano, like thunder and lightning across the sky, like a downpour and raging storm across the world, like a waterfall, raging river and heaving ocean, like a gigantic tsunami flooding across the land! Spark a revolution, a brilliant light, a flame, and raging wild fire of change in our homes, schools, and business, in our neighborhoods, cities, states, country, and around the world!!!

Tell yourself, convince yourself, implore yourself everyday that here I go again, and I've got what it takes! This is my day and nothing is going to stop me! No guts no glory! If I don't take a chance I don't stand a chance! Yes, I may fail again and again, but I will fail better each time! It's time to fly like an eagle, walk like a giant, and roar like a lion!

Yes it is a tall order. The difficulties may be great, but together we are greater! Search for the truth and your fellow freedom fighters and you will find your true teachers, true communities, and your True Self!

P.S. The Warrior. We feel we should fight against injustice and evil, against lies and deception, falsity and deceit. Of course we do it's only natural. And at Cowboy Dharma it seems we want to fight disease, dysfunction, and insanity. We want to get fierce and fired up, gather up all our anger and frustration and focus on our problems. We're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore! We want to make signs and march through the streets chanting slogans right up to the doors of our foes in a show of solidarity and resolve.

We want to start a war on drugs, terrorism, poverty, illiteracy and many others. But what you resist persists. Resistance is futile. Mothers Against Drunk Driving should be called mothers for safe and sober driving. Because that is really the point. This becomes really obvious in our internal struggles as we don't want to destroy our inner wounded child. We need to embrace and care for it. Much the same for our critical inner parent and adult, as compassion for the pain and suffering that created these negative energies/entities is our only hope of overcoming them.

A negative Higher Power follows suit as it is simply an extension of our critical inner parent and adult. All of these resulted in a somewhat less obvious but none the less troublesome false self that also can't be cut off or destroyed. Again our best hope is recognition, acceptance, compassion, and understanding and hopes of transformation and integration. There is lightning in their veins and fire in their bones as well. Power and fuel enough to push us on and pull us through whatever battles we must face.