Closer to the Heart
Those
who hold high places, must be the ones who start, to mold a new reality, closer
to the heart
The
blacksmith and the artist, reflect it in their art, they forge their creativity,
closer to the heart
Philosophers
and ploughmen, each must know his part, to sow a new mentality, closer to the
heart
You
can be the captain, and I will draw the chart, sailing into destiny, closer to
the heart
The
Heart is the Ultimate Guide
Fulfillment,
meaning, purpose, passion, and power await you within your heart, so let your
heart light shine! Within you is courage, beauty, stillness, and peace grounded
in truth and wisdom. The heart is your true home, refuge, and safe haven. Live
heart centered, and let the heart be your compass and your guide. Tune into and
enhance your loving inner voice of self-forgiveness and confidence. Rest in the
heart of God, within your own heart. Find the art in your HeArt. Reconnect with
your heart and your inner loving parent, wonder child, passionate teenager, and
Higher Power as your True Self.
We
believe that we have to use our heads to get ahead, that we need a good head on
our shoulders, and that the mind is the seat of the soul and consciousness as
when Rene Descartes said “I think therefore I am.” But is the mind really the
crowning glory of humanity? In many ways
yes, but today you may have a change of heart. You might follow your heart and
listen to your heart. Put your heart into it in a heart-felt way. Move from
being heavy hearted to light hearted. Cold hearted to warm hearted. From a
heart of stone to tender hearted, from hard hearted to soft hearted, and not be
so faint hearted. Maybe heal an aching heart, a broken heart, and a bleeding
heart. Maybe you can really take this to heart so you can safely pour your
heart out and avoid getting heart sick, heart disease, or a heart attack: the #1
killer of people.
Why Live from the Heart?
The heart acts as a central processing hub for human emotion,
intuition, and physiological response. Core Emotional Attributes: 1. Compassion
& Empathy: The heart is widely regarded as the seat of deep empathy,
allowing individuals to sense, share, and respond to the emotional states of
others. 2. Courage & Steadiness: Facing fear, stepping out of comfort
zones, and maintaining calm resilience during adversity are tied to emotional
and physiological heart strength. 3. Warmth & Openness: Curiosity,
flexibility, and a welcoming posture toward new experiences and genuine human
bonding stem from an open heart. 4. Wholeness & Acceptance: Balancing
self-compassion, patience, forgiveness, and the integration of all parts of
one's identity form the heart's center of peace. 5. Intuition & Inner
Wisdom: The heart features an intrinsic cardiac nervous system—containing a
network of neurons and producing hormones like oxytocin—that processes a form
of intelligence independent of the conscious brain.
There
is Another World, Another Reality, Another Truth
An
innate, instinctual, intuition just below the brain in the heart, gut, muscles,
blood, and bones. This can be a world of stillness, calm abiding, quiet, and
tranquility with an eternal, ever-present, and indescribable reality of love,
kindness, and compassion. It can be felt in the presence of the here and now in
our deepest being. Here we can feel an amazing oneness, communion, connection,
and interdependence with all life and creation. This is our true nature and
true self. Resting here, we are revitalized, reinvigorated, and healed.
This is true freedom and liberation. Here we can be open, vulnerable, and real.
This is the peace that passes all understanding.
Children’s Brains are Different (Brain Waves)
Brainwaves are categorized into five primary frequency
bands—measured in Hertz (Hz)—ranging from the slowest deep-sleep patterns to
the fastest bursts of insight. Children climb a ladder of waking wave dominance
as they grow up (Delta → Theta → Alpha → Beta). The Five Types of Brainwaves:
Delta Waves are the slowest and highest-amplitude brainwaves,
dominant during deep, dreamless sleep and profound meditative states. They are
essential for physical healing, bodily restoration, and memory consolidation. Waking
state for toddlers. (0–2 years Deep development.)
Theta Waves occur during light sleep, REM dreaming, deep
relaxation, and moments of intense creativity or intuition. They act as a
gateway for processing emotions, memories, and subconscious thoughts. Waking
state for young kids. (2–6 years Trance and imagination.)
Alpha Waves emerge when you are awake but calm, relaxed, and
idling (such as when your eyes are closed or you are daydreaming). They bridge
the gap between active thinking and restorative rest. Gradually takes over. (Childhood
to Teens Alert relaxation.)
Beta Waves are faster waves dominate your normal waking state
when you are actively focused, holding conversations, solving problems, or
making decisions. Too much beta activity can lead to stress or anxiety. Waking
baseline for adults (Adulthood Busy logic.)
Gamma Waves are the fastest brainwaves and are associated
with peak concentration, high-level information processing, learning, and
moments of insight or "flow"
The Contrast Between Child and Adult Brainwaves: Children's
brains are slower, stronger, and local: They operate at low frequencies,
produce large electrical signals, and communicate across short distances. Adult
brains are faster, distributed, and global: They operate at high frequencies,
have streamlined signal power, and communicate seamlessly across long
distances.
Children also have “mirror” neurons that are much more active
and dynamic and have a higher degree of neuroplasticity than adults. This means
their neural pathways are highly flexible and constantly shaping themselves
based on what they observe. How the System Differs in Children: 1. The
"Sponge" Effect: Because a child's brain is still developing, their
mirror neuron system operates at maximum capacity to absorb language, motor
skills, and social cues. 2. Synaptic Pruning: Children actually start out with
an excess of general brain connections (synapses). As they grow, the brain
undergoes a process called "pruning," where it clears away unused
connections and strengthens the highly active pathways—including the mirror
neuron networks—to make them more efficient as adults. 3. Building a
"Library" of Actions: For an adult's mirror neurons to fire when
watching an action, the adult usually needs to already know how to do that
action. In infants and young children, active motor execution like learning to
reach or grab directly builds and expands this mirroring system from scratch.
The Downside
Negative States: Chronic stress, hostility, anxiety, grief,
and anger trigger the "fight-or-flight" response, flooding the body
with cortisol and adrenaline. The physical impact is that emotional trauma or
prolonged negative stress can cause real structural changes or conditions like broken
heart syndrome where the heart weakens under emotional distress. Also, with neuronal
plasticity our mental and emotional states god or bad become hardwired and
dominate our consciousness and unconscious reality and therefore our entire
being and world. More on these further on.
How Did We Get This Way?
Children have “mirror” neurons that are much more active and
dynamic and have a higher degree of neuroplasticity than adults. This means
their neural pathways are highly flexible and constantly shaping themselves
based on what they observe. How the System Differs in Children: 1. The
"Sponge" Effect: Because a child's brain is still developing, their
mirror neuron system operates at maximum capacity to absorb language, motor
skills, and social cues. 2. Synaptic Pruning: Children actually start out with
an excess of general brain connections (synapses). As they grow, the brain
undergoes a process called "pruning," where it clears away unused
connections and strengthens the highly active pathways—including the mirror
neuron networks—to make them more efficient as adults. 3. Building a
"Library" of Actions: For an adult's mirror neurons to fire when
watching an action, the adult usually needs to already know how to do that
action. In infants and young children, active motor execution like learning to
reach or grab directly builds and expands this mirroring system from scratch.
Fun Heart Facts
The heart beats 100,000 times a day, 2.5 million in a
lifetime. 20,000 quarts a day, enough to fill a small pool, and 50 million
gallons in a lifetime, and three to four times faster when exercising. The
heart circulates your whole supply of blood (five or six quarts) every minute.
Every cell depends on the heart for hydration, circulation, nourishment, and
waste removal. Got to keep those cells happy!
The magnetic field of the heart is sixty times greater than the brain and the
electrical field is five thousand times greater. This field spreads out around
us a few feet, and our heart rate can even be measured in the brainwaves of
someone near us.
What is Recovery?
Recovery is defined as regaining what was lost or stolen and
returning to a full state of health. For many of us what was lost or stolen was
a joyful, fulfilling, and loving upbringing. This often led to "lives of
quiet desperation" (Henry David Thoreau), as we searched and bargained for
love and meaning. Wonderful child-like traits of enthusiasm, curiosity,
adventure, and many others were missed or stamped out, but can be
recovered now and for the rest of our lives. This is a full state of
health mental, physical, and spiritual we strive to recover.
Roads to Recovery
These paths are where we find true help, hope, healing, and
happiness in an often sad, sick, and insane life and world. Our suffering is
not only of a physical nature, but on a mental and spiritual level as well, and
sometimes severe or horrific. Heart and mind, body and soul may feel broken,
torn, and shattered, as we face our personal and collective trauma,
abandonment, and loss. We may take on a myriad of distractions and addictions
in an attempt to deaden the pain, bind up the brokenness and wounds, and
soldier on as best we can.
It's Simple
Yet as we recover, we go from having bad years, months, or
weeks to perhaps just bad days, hours, or moments. It is actually simple. We
simply need to stop blindly running around in the same old circles. It's time
to open up our eyes and ears, hearts and minds, and look up to the light of a
new day and new way of living in awareness of our habitual thinking and
behaving learned long ago in dysfunctional families, societies, and cultures.
Like exercise and learning, even small efforts over time can result in major
life changing (and saving) growth and enjoyment.
From Hurting to Healing to Helping
It is all too easy to deny, delay, and avoid problems, but as
we face our problems and clean up our messes our whole world will improve and
we are more able to help and inspire others to find help and healing. Some
folks simply don't feel worthy of healing, or willing to do the hard work it
entails, but your family and friends need you, the world needs you, to be your
bold, and most bright, brilliant, and beautiful True Self here and now.
Another often difficult part of recovery is accepting help.
It is said that troubles shared are halved, and joys shared are doubled, and we
find this to be very true. We can't heal or enjoy much in isolation, we must
talk things out with safe and wise counselors, family, friends, or support
groups to restore or create the interpersonal bonds lost in the past. If you
can find truly helpful family, friends, and counselors great, but we at Cowboy
Dharma find Twelve Step Programs like Adult Children of Alcoholics and
Dysfunctional Families (ACA) to be of incredible support, community, and
healing at no cost.
Your Beautiful Adventure Awaits You
Whatever your past and the pain and suffering you have faced,
the problems of the past can't compare to the adventures and healing ahead if
you are willing become aware of difficult and dysfunctional thinking and
behaviors and work to understand them completely. You will then gain the wisdom
to transcend and transform them and find the freedom, joy, and happiness you
deserve. We have found this truth to be self-evident, as we have seen thousands
of everyday folks turn their lives around in great and meaningful ways.
Living Inside Out
Unfortunately, we have also been living backwards in
many ways by focusing all of our energies and worthiness on the outside
world. Eastern philosophy has a very accurate concept of this dynamic with the
"Eight Worldly Winds" of loss/gain, praise/blame, fame/shame, and
pleasure/pain (all same, just game!). Here we can now learn to live
"inside out" as we look deeply into ourselves as our primary reality
through our internal and intentional orientations of Higher Power, inner child,
teen, and adult states. From this viewpoint we now live as actors rather
than reactors.
Freedom is at Hand
Back in the nineteen seventies Morris Massey said "What
you are is where you were when", and this is still true, as early life
experiences and relationships leave deep and often unconscious patterns in our
subconscious that can cause habitual thinking and behaviors through-out our
lives - if we don't seek awareness and understanding. Yet
focus and work on our deeply rooted beliefs can allow an understanding that
brings wisdom, freedom, and transformation. We are not doomed to reliving a
dysfunctional past if we so choose (again, and again, and again). We
believe it is true that "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned
to repeat it" (George Santayana), therefore we find it worthwhile to go to
great lengths to discover, work through, and let go of our upbringing and later
struggles. We are determined to "face it, feel it, and heal it".
Whatever it Takes!
We are willing to, and recommend to;
talk, cry, laugh, play, share, walk, do art, and dance to
get in touch with what's bothering you, and inspiring you. Whatever it
takes to melt a frozen heart or shatter a heart of stone and break free from
the log jam and dam of fear, bitterness, resentment, anger, rage, jealousy,
depression, anxiety, regret, loneliness, addiction, isolation, or whatever it
is bothering us to be open, honest, authentic, and real for
ourselves and others.
All this may sound revolutionary, because it is, and perhaps
a little crazy, but many, perhaps most people need a revolution right now, as
well as the hope, help, healing, and happiness this sea change
provides. Are you ready to stop living backwards, and turn yourself upside
down and inside out to start living the full, authentic, and meaningful
life you deserve? Then read on, as the greatest heroic and
revolutionary adventure ever awaits you; recovering your True Self!
Regaining Your Super Powers
On our own we are powerless, but with the aid of our Higher
Power we have all the power, presence, and wisdom of the universe at our
disposal. Like a lamp, vacuum, or Tesla, we have to get plugged into a power
source (THE ultimate power source; our Higher Power), get turned on, and do the
work. Our powers of love, peace, joy, beauty, and all others are supercharged synergistically
and exponentially as we access our divine and potent source through simple
awareness, as well as prayer and meditation.
Becoming Your Own Loving Parent
Besides a caring, kind, and loving environment, we needed to
learn many things growing up such as relationships, self-care, cooking,
cleaning, and helping others. Many other important things could be learned as
well, such as singing, dancing, and music, doing art, sports, and exercise. Did
we learn a passion for history, math, and nature? How about politics,
economics, morals, and spirituality? What we didn't learn as a child, or things
we are interested in as adults can be explored now with all the wonder and
eagerness of a child (more on these in the inner child and loving inner parent
sections).
An Attitude of Gratitude
Our lives have improved so much that we believe we are outrageously
blessed despite the troubles we have in our personal lives and see in
the world every day. In fact, practicing gratitude is so beneficial and worthy
that it is one of the Sanity Files you will see further on. Just looking at the
big picture of the abundance, beauty, diversity, and intelligence of life
across the world and time is enough to steady the soul amidst the troubles of
life. Add in the wonderful endeavors of humanity such as symphonies, dance,
music, and all the other arts and sciences and thankfulness becomes very
natural and true.
Achieving Greatness
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said "Nothing great was ever
achieved without enthusiasm." Similarly, John Wesley said "Set
yourself on fire with passion, and people will come from miles around to watch
you burn!" When you see first-hand the life changing and life-saving
changes that people can make when they have the right support persons and tools
it is truly exciting and inspiring. The problems of the past are small in
comparison to the big, bold, bright, and beautiful adventures ahead, so
don't be afraid to get enthusiastic and fired up about your recovery
and future.
The "I" of the Storm
It seems many, if not most of us are suffering from a case of
mistaken identity, as we mistake ourselves for the problems, negativity, and
brokenness of our families, societies, cultures, and the world. We may have
been shattered and lost key parts of our essential self. In response to this we
have been living through a false self for years, perhaps decades. Cowboy Dharma
is a response to this identity crisis, as we try to mend and heal our
brokenness to return to our whole and True Self to rise again in the health,
wholeness, and happiness that is our birthright.
From Me to We
Another, and perhaps our most dysfunctional orientation is I,
me. mine. The infant sees rightly, as one with it's mother
(WE), its eyes focus is perfectly suited from breast to the mothers face, and
what adoring gazes pass between! But soon enough come the terrible twos with
"no, no, no", and "me, me, me", and the all too often often
lifelong journey of self-absorption and self-serving. "WE" became
"ME". But turn the word ME upside down and it returns, as we should,
to WE.
Embracing the Light and Dark Parts
Love and fear, life and death, light and dark, light and
heavy, embrace it all! It's all life, it's all you, and it's all Higher Power,
but it still gives us power. Like a judgmental and condemning Higher
Power or critical inner parent or wounded inner child these
powers are often difficult and demanding, but they are actually trying to help
us however sick and twisted they become.
It is like the image of a devil (demon or dragon) on one
shoulder and an angel (guardian or protector) on the other. Yet the
dark parts are us too, and have a lot to teach us. The question
is who is in the driver’s seat, who are you going to follow, and what
energies are you going to feed? Odd as it seems, it is only when we accept,
welcome, and embrace the dark, negative, and difficult parts of ourselves that
they relax their grip on us and become willing to help.
Heart First
Similarly, we have been living from our heads, letting
thoughts, ideas, opinions, and beliefs run our world while matters of the heart
take a backseat. We seek to turn this orientation upside down and lead with the
heart whenever possible. Reasoning definitely is necessary and has its place,
but love, kindness, and compassion should be first and foremost. For
instance, if you head tells you one thing, but your heart and body say’s
another, it’s almost always better to go with your gut. Our heads too often take
precedence over our hearts, yet we find it wiser to live heart first.
The most powerful and effective results come when head and heart are in
alignment, and the "heart-mind" takes the lead.
Feelings First
As the industrial and scientific revolutions and the age of
reason spread across the world it seems the feeling and passions of the
renaissance had given way to colder, rational, and heartless human viewpoint,
yet “I think, therefore I am” tends to leave us empty and bitter. In response,
romanticism arose in Europe, but it seems as if it didn't have as much effect
here in the "wild" west. The woman's, civil rights, and peace
movements got us going in the right direction, but it looks like there is much
more work to do, and this is part of it, and hopefully you are too.
Feel It to Heal It
Ask yourself now, do you really feel the love of your Higher
Power, loving inner parent, child, teen, and other internal personas deeply?
If not, why not!? How could you further that kindness, caring, and compassion
for yourself and others? That’s your job now, to find the ways to really feel the
love - of God, inner child, teen, inner parent, teacher, leader, as
well as nature, music, science, art, and so forth with all of your
heart and mind, body and soul.
Heart Coherence
The quality of our heart signal affects every major
brain center and organ in our body. It has a profound effect on brain
functioning to help us self-regulate and think clearly to manage emotional
experiences, feelings, composure, and stress. When we feel frustration,
irritation, and impatience, 1400 biochemical changes start to happen, and most
of them negative. This negatively affect our body and immune systems and lowers
our reasoning capability so we make more mistakes and may behave poorly. One
really bad situation can wipe out weeks, months, or years of progress. Through
heart coherence we can better recognize the red flags and respond to them appropriately
and positively.
Heart coherence is not just a relaxation practice, as many
situations for business, sports, first responders, etc., are high energy, but
need to be calm, smart, and focused under pressure. The quality of our heart
signal affects every major brain center and organ in our body. It has a
profound effect on brain functioning to help us self-regulate and think clearly
to manage emotional experiences, feelings, composure, and stress.
The Autonomic Nervous Systems
The sympathetic nervous system is like the accelerator pedal.
Parasympathetic is like the brake pedal. The problem is these days in a high
state of arousal and stress we're not going to run or fight. We have to stay
and sit with it, so it's like hitting the gas and the brake at the same time,
so we're stressing, straining, and wearing out our bodies systems. Stress is
known to compromise our immune system, so it is a factor in nearly all illness
and disease.
The New Nervous Normal
It starts to feel comfortable like it's our home, so we seek
it out with extreme sports, media, drinking and so on. We become addicted to
the adrenaline, the rush, and the drama. Our imaginations are amazing, so our
bodies react as if we were in that experience. The problem here is we start
looping stressful thoughts, memories, and expectations and futures in our minds
and they feel real so it teaches our bodies to be stuck in stress and wire our
nervous system for it to where it becomes the norm.
Stress comes up because we feel out of control, can't predict
our future, or perceive a threat, and when we are in fear we focus on the body,
the outer environment, and the danger, and where our attention goes, our energy
flows, so our senses become intense and focused on the physical. Therefore,
it's not a time to open your heart, create, be still, or go within. And as we
focus on the external and physical we feel a sense of separation from it all.
(use two eyes two ears two nostrils example)
Remembering Center and Source
It is helpful to remember that all of the distress anxiety
frustration exhaustion loneliness despair and depression is actually normal and
natural in this distressed anxious frustrated exhausted lonely despairing and depressed
world. Remember also, that biases, stress chemicals, and the sympathetic
nervous system are survival and coping mechanisms designed to help us, the problem
is they get over activated either too intensely, or too long. The key to
well-being is to integrate our coping skills to realize an internal world that
peaceful, compassionate, kind, and loving.
Excess Baggage
We think we can throw our past and problems in the trunk or
the trailer and it won't bother us anymore but we're burning up a lot of gas
and brakes hauling that crap around. Some consider it baggage they are dragging
around, but it's more like a backpack full of bullshit that gets heavier the
longer we add to it and ignore it. Not only is it a heavy load to bear, it gets
hooked in to our nervous system and veins, pumping us full of crap. Our job is
to re-mind ourselves of when we were pure and perfect.
Exploring the Unconscious
The five percent of the mind that is conscious is often outweighed
by the ninety five percent that is unconscious, so it’s not surprising how when
we get triggered, we habitually go unconscious and react and live from old
unconscious scripts and programming. “Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate” Carl Jung. If you ignore
your internal conflicts, hidden emotional wounds, and unexamined patterns, the
outside world will act them out for you, and you will feel like a helpless
victim of circumstance. Sadly, many people are living out a past that
sucks the life out of them to where they are more like a zombie than a person,
the walking dead. Similarly, a robot has no choice but to act out its original
programming, yet we can wake up, step aside from it, and make new choices.
Here are some of the ways the unconscious can rule and run your life.
1. Psychological Projection - When you refuse to look
at a part of yourself—such as your hidden anger, your deepest insecurities, or
your unfulfilled desires—your brain does not just erase them. Instead, it
projects them onto the world around you. How it runs your life: If you have an
unconscious fear of rejection, you will constantly perceive your friends or
colleagues as being cold or dismissive, even when they aren't. You then react
to your perception rather than reality, fracturing relationships and
convincing yourself that you are "cursed" with bad friends.
2. The Repetition Compulsion - The unconscious mind
has an intense drive to resolve its unfinished business. If you have unresolved
childhood wounds or core beliefs about your lack of worth, your unconscious
mind will actively look for familiar environments to try and "fix" the
original problem. How it runs your life: You may find yourself repeatedly
choosing emotionally unavailable partners, hiring abusive bosses, or entering
toxic friendships. To the conscious mind, it looks like terrible luck or
"fate." In reality, your unconscious mind is pulling you toward
familiar dynamics because it treats the familiar as safe, even if it is
painful.
3. Blind-Spot Decision Making - Your conscious mind
likes to believe it is the captain of the ship, making logical choices based on
data. However, the vast majority of your choices—who you trust, what career you
pick, how you react in an argument—are driven by automatic, survival-based
programming running beneath the surface. How it runs your life: An unconscious
fear of failure might cause you to consistently procrastinate or turn down
promotions. You might tell yourself "The timing wasn't right" or
"the market is bad," masking the fact that your hidden fear actively
hijacked your decision-making to keep you in a safe, predictable zone.
4. Splitting the Self into "Opposing Halves" - Jung
noted that when an individual remains divided internally, the external world
must act out the conflict. If you suppress your true needs to satisfy societal
expectations, an internal war begins. How it runs your life: Because you cannot
consciously express your tension, it leaks out sideways. It manifests as sudden
psychological crises, physical burnout, uncharacteristic angry outbursts, or
self-sabotage that disrupts your corporate or personal life, forcing you to stop.
Moving from Fate to Choice - The moment you shift from
asking "Why does this always happen to me?" to asking "What
internal pattern am I reacting to right now?", you strip the
unconscious of its invisible power. Bringing the inner situation into the light
turns an automated "destiny" back into a conscious personal choice.
Subjective Versus Objective
When we get triggered and stress puts us in sympathetic
nervous system the brain goes dim and the body braces for fight or flight. What
is the wise response? We can walk it off, talk it out, forgive, meditate, pray,
go to recovery meetings, read wise words, and so on, but another strategy is to
objectify it. It is a world of subject and object, and it is all too easy to be
subject to it as we often do when we get triggered and habitually say; “I
am hungry, angry, lonely, tired,” and so on (H.A.L.T.). Worst of all when
we say, think, and believe; “You make me mad, late, sick, etc. Better to
step back from personifying the difficulty internally or externally, and objectify
it by recognizing; “So this is anger, loneliness, illness”, etc. as if you are
holding it in your hand looking at it.
Software Upgrades
God did the hardware and we do the software. Unfortunately,
most of our programming was installed early on before we knew it. Time for an
upgrade! As we follow new pathways physically, mentally, and emotionally, new
pathways are constructed in our minds and body through neuroplasticity. The
software gets upgraded and over time and the hardware does too, biologically, chemically,
and neurologically.
The Heart-Mind Connection
Physiological Coherence: Positive emotions like appreciation
and joy create ordered, coherent heart rhythms that improve overall well-being.
The Intrinsic Nervous System: The heart contains its own local nervous system
(the intrinsic cardiac nervous network) that communicates heavily with the
brain, influencing emotional regulation and intuition. Heart Coherence and Heart
Rate Variability Benefits:
Mental
& Cognitive Benefits 1. Enhanced Brain Function: The heart actually
sends more neural signals to the brain than vice versa. When your heart rhythm
is coherent, it optimizes the brain's cortical function. This directly improves
focus, memory recall, and reaction times. 2. Clearer Decision-Making: Shifting
into a coherent state helps mute the "noise" of stressful
environments, expanding your capacity for problem-solving and creative
intuition under pressure. 3. Reduced Mental Rumination: Coherence practice
helps quiet the overactive mind, significantly lowering instances of mental
looping or overthinking.
Emotional Benefits 1. Stress & Anxiety Resilience:
Regular training resets your baseline nervous system. It moves you out of
chronic "fight-or-flight" (sympathetic) and strengthens your
"rest-and-digest" (parasympathetic) system, allowing you to bounce
back faster after a trigger. 2. Increased Emotional Stability: Studies show a
direct link between positive emotional states (like gratitude or appreciation)
and highly stable coherence frequencies. This builds a durable internal buffer
against mood swings. 3. Mitigation of Trauma and Burnout Symptoms: In clinical
settings, HRV biofeedback and coherence training are frequently utilized to
reduce baseline panic, trauma symptoms, and professional burnout.
Physical & Physiological Benefits: 1. Optimized Blood
Pressure: Practicing coherent breathing optimizes your
"baroreflex"—the body's natural blood pressure regulation mechanism.
Short sessions have been shown to help safely lower mean blood pressure in
hypertensive individuals. 2. Immune & Anti-Inflammatory Support: Higher
vagally-mediated HRV is consistently associated with reduced circulating
inflammatory markers, lower oxidative stress, and more robust immune system
defenses. 3. Improved Sleep Quality: Balancing your autonomic nervous system
during the day directly carries over into the evening, helping the body
transition into deep, restorative sleep cycles more efficiently.
How to Practice HRV: You can experience significant
benefits with just 5 minutes of practice. The most common approach is Resonant
Frequency Breathing: 1. Sit comfortably and focus your attention on the area
around your heart. 2. Breathe slowly and evenly—inhale for roughly 5 seconds,
and exhale for 5 seconds with a brief pause in between aiming for about 6
breaths per minute. 3. While breathing, intentionally generate a positive
feeling, such as gratitude for someone or something in your life.
Stress and Poor Health Habits
Chronic stress and an unhealthy lifestyle create a dangerous
feedback loop, where each actively worsens the other. When stress is paired
with poor habits like a lack of sleep, a sedentary routine, or a
nutrient-deficient diet, it triggers a destructive cascade across your body and
mind. We experience an amazing amount of stress in our lives these days in the
minds and body. In the mind it is felt as resistance, in the emotions it is
negativity. Things overwhelm us and "become" us. "I am angry,
sad, tired" and in a big way we are what we feel and believe, and it's
not just mind, but emotions, body, feelings, and behaviors, any of them can do
a "takeover". The primary negative effects of stress within an
unhealthy lifestyle manifest across four major areas:
1. Cardiovascular & Metabolic Breakdown: 1. Hypertension
and Heart Disease: Stress triggers a continuous release of adrenaline and
cortisol, forcing your heart to work harder and constricting blood vessels.
When combined with an unhealthy lifestyle—such as a high-sodium diet, smoking,
or physical inactivity—this drastically increases your risk of high blood
pressure, heart attacks, and strokes. 2. Weight Gain and Obesity: Under chronic
stress, high cortisol levels actively drive cravings for fatty, sugary comfort
foods. An unhealthy lifestyle often accommodates these cravings with processed
foods, slowing metabolism and making the body highly efficient at storing visceral
abdominal fat. 3. Metabolic Disorders: High cortisol raises glucose levels in
the bloodstream. When paired with a sedentary lifestyle and poor nutrition,
this can eventually lead to insulin resistance and Type 2 diabetes.
2. Physical & Cellular Exhaustion: 1. Mitochondrial
Fatigue: Chronic stress and a poor diet strip your cells' energy plants
(mitochondria) of their capacity to produce ATP (adenosine triphosphate). This
causes persistent, debilitating fatigue and general listlessness. 2. Severe
Sleep Disorders: Stress keeps your brain hyper-alert, disrupting your circadian
rhythm. Neglecting proper sleep hygiene (like heavy screen time before bed)
turns standard stress into chronic insomnia, which further impairs memory,
decision-making, and your body's ability to repair itself. 3. Muscle Tension
& Chronic Pain: Stress causes the body to enter a defensive posture,
resulting in continuous muscle contraction. Without exercise or stretching to
relieve this tension, it manifests as chronic migraines, tension headaches, and
severe lower back or jaw pain.
3. Weakened Biological Defenses: 1. Immune
Suppression: Chronic stress reduces the production of vital lymphocytes and
white blood cells. If your lifestyle lacks immune-boosting nutrients and
adequate sleep, you become significantly more vulnerable to frequent colds,
infections, and delayed wound healing. 2. Gastrointestinal Distress: Stress
directly alters brain-gut communication, increasing gut permeability and
changing bowel motility. Eating at irregular times or consuming junk food under
stress triggers acid reflux, bloating, ulcers, and irritable bowel syndrome
(IBS).
4. Mental Health & Behavioral Decline: 1. The
"Unhealthy Coping" Trap: People under stress often default to
quick-fix, destructive behaviors—such as excessive alcohol consumption,
smoking, or drug use—to numb the anxiety. These substances add toxic strain to
the body, driving stress levels even higher once the temporary relief wears
off. 2. Severe Anxiety, Burnout, and Depression: Prolonged stress combined with
an isolating lifestyle wears down neurochemicals like serotonin and dopamine.
This frequently results in clinical depression, cognitive decline, panic
disorders, and total emotional burnout
The Chemistry of the Mind-Body Connection
Cortisol, Adrenaline, Serotonin, Oxytocin, and Melatonin have
very powerful effects on our bodies and minds both positively and negatively.
Cortisol is a vital steroid hormone that regulates
metabolism, manages the body's fight-or-flight response, and controls blood
pressure. Positive Effects of Cortisol: Energy regulation: It breaks down fats,
proteins, and carbohydrates to supply glucose (sugar) for fuel. Stress
response: It powers the "fight-or-flight" response, sharpening focus,
alertness, and blood flow during emergencies. Anti-inflammatory action: Normal
levels reduce and control inflammation in the short term. Blood pressure
control: It helps balance salt and water to maintain stable blood pressure. Sleep-wake
cycle: A natural morning peak helps you wake up and feel energized.
Negative Effects of Chronic High Cortisol: Weight gain:
Long-term elevation promotes fat storage, especially around the abdomen. High
blood pressure: Excess levels strain blood vessels and can lead to
hypertension. Muscle breakdown: It breaks down muscle protein for extra sugar,
causing weakness and reduced mass. Weakened immunity: Sustained high levels
suppress your immune system and slow down healing. Sleep and mood issues: It
disrupts circadian rhythms, leading to insomnia, anxiety, and brain fog.
Adrenaline (epinephrine) triggers the body's acute
fight-or-flight response, providing vital survival benefits in dangerous
situations while causing physical strain when triggered excessively or
chronically. Positive Effects: Increased energy: Releases stored glucose and
fatty acids to fuel muscles and the brain instantly. Enhanced focus: Sharpens
senses, dilates pupils, and heightens alertness to react quickly to threats. Improved
oxygen flow: Relaxes airways and speeds up breathing to maximize oxygen intake.
Optimized blood flow: Redirects blood away from non-essential functions (like
digestion) toward major muscle groups. Pain suppression: Dampens pain
perception so a person can act through injury during a crisis.
Negative Effects: Cardiovascular strain: Elevates heart rate
and blood pressure, which can trigger palpitations or riskier complications in
vulnerable individuals. Anxiety and panic: Overstimulates the central nervous
system, leading to feelings of nervousness, dread, or loss of control. Physical
discomfort: Causes dizziness, lightheadedness, tremors, and shallow
hyperventilating breathing. Sleep disruption: Leads to insomnia and difficulty
staying rested after stress passes. Long-term wear: Chronic exposure damages
blood vessels and increases the risk of heart disease and persistent high blood
pressure
Dopamine is a vital chemical messenger in the brain that
drives motivation, movement, and the body's reward system. Positive Effects of
Dopamine: Normal or balanced levels of dopamine support healthy daily function:
Motivation and Drive: It fuels the desire to pursue goals, work for rewards,
and complete tasks. Movement Control: It allows for smooth, coordinated, and
purposeful muscle movements. Learning and Memory: It helps the brain form
positive associations and remember what brings satisfaction or safety. Focus
and Attention: It supports concentration and executive functioning.
Negative Effects of Dopamine Imbalances: Problems arise when
dopamine levels are too high or too low in specific parts of the brain. Excess
Dopamine Effects: Addiction: Unnatural surges from drugs or overstimulating
habits reinforce compulsive behaviors. Impulse Control Issues: High levels can
lead to aggression, risk-taking, or mania. Psychosis: Excess signaling is
linked to hallucinations and delusions in conditions like schizophrenia. Dopamine Effects: Parkinson’s Disease: A lack
of dopamine-producing cells causes tremors, stiffness, and balance issues. Low
Motivation and Fatigue: Deficiencies result in lethargy, apathy, and difficulty
concentrating. Depression: Low levels can diminish the ability to feel pleasure
or find drive in daily life.
Serotonin is a key chemical messenger that helps regulate
your mood, sleep, and digestion. Positive Effects: Mood regulation: Helps
promote feelings of happiness, calmness, and emotional stability. Digestive
function: Controls bowel movements and gut motility in the gastrointestinal
tract. Sleep cycle: Works with other chemicals to control your sleep-wake
cycles and transitions. Wound healing: Aids blood clotting by helping platelets
stick together when injuries occur.
Negative Effects (Imbalance or Excess) Low levels: Linked to
depression, anxiety, fatigue, and trouble sleeping. Toxicity symptoms: High
levels can cause confusion, high fever, muscle rigidity, and seizures. Medication
side effects: Drugs that boost serotonin (SSRI) can cause nausea, low sex
drive, or sleep changes
Oxytocin is a natural hormone and brain chemical that drives
social bonding, childbirth, and stress relief, but its effects change depending
on the situation. Positive Effects: Social Bonding: Helps form deep attachments
between parents and infants, romantic partners, and close friends. Trust and
Empathy: Boosts feelings of trust, generosity, and cooperative behavior in safe
environments. Stress Reduction: Lowers stress hormones like cortisol, reduces
blood pressure, and helps calm the nervous system.
Negative Effects and Risks: In-group Favoritism and Out-group
Envy: Can increase bias, prejudice, or defensive aggression toward people
outside a person's immediate social group. Amplified Negative Emotions: Can heighten
feelings of envy, gloating, or distrust, especially in competitive or unsafe
contexts.
Who is
Running the Show? (Thoughts, Feelings, Emotions)
Emotions:
Fast, unconscious chemical and neurological reactions in the body designed to
keep you safe.
Feelings:
Your conscious physical and mental awareness of those underlying emotions.
Thoughts:
Mental ideas, words, and narratives that try to explain or judge what you
experience
Thoughts take precedence during complex, long-term planning,
while feelings/emotions take precedence during immediate survival or deep
social connection. Our brains use both systems. Each system has a job.
When Thoughts Take Precedence: Thoughts use logic, data, and
memory to solve problems. They rule when you need careful steps. 1. Complex
tasks: Doing math, writing code, or fixing a machine. 2. Long-term choices:
Buying a house, planning a career, or managing money. 3. New situations:
Learning a new skill where you must follow strict rules. 4. Calm environments:
When you have time to pause, test facts, and weigh risks.
When Feelings Take Precedence: Feelings give fast signals
about safety, value, and connection. They rule when you must act right now. 1. Emergency
danger: Running from a sudden threat before your mind can think. 2. Social
bonding: Showing empathy, falling in love, or sensing another person's mood. 3.
Moral choices: Knowing instantly if something feels deeply wrong or unfair. 4. Overwhelm:
When data is missing or too complex, a gut feeling helps you break a tie.
When Emotions Take Primacy: 1. Survival Threats: When you
face sudden danger, sensory input bypasses the rational cortex and hits the
emotional limbic system first. This triggers an automatic fight, flight, or
freeze response before you can think. 2. High Stress or Trauma: Intense
emotional overwhelm causes a "limbic hijacking" where emotional
centers shut down high-level logical reasoning. 3. Split-Second Decisions: The
brain makes fast, intuitive assessments of a situation before any conscious
cognitive thinking happens. Thoughts are often just used later to explain these
emotional choices. 4. Deep Distress or Grief: Powerful states like panic, rage,
or deep sadness flood the body with physical arousal, making it hard to
retrieve memories or do complex math.
How They Work Together: Emotions, feelings and thoughts are a
team. Emotions and feelings send a fast alert. Then, thoughts check the facts
to see if the emotion and feeling is right.
Who Are You? (Personality Types)
It might seem strange to address here, but in a way our
personality shows us our heart. At heart am are you an introvert, intuitive,
feeling or otherwise? When I was in the corporate world the company regularly sent
us for training, and learning personality types was a big part of it. It helped
us deal with our own internal issues and helped us understand why our customers
acted in certain ways, especially when the going got rough. Here are a few of
the most popular assessments to consider to help you find your heart and understand
yourself and others. There are many tests online, and some of them free, you
can take to get to know yourself better.
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI): Categorizes people into 16
distinct personality types based on four binary scales: Extraversion vs.
Introversion, Sensing vs. Intuition, Thinking vs. Feeling, and Judging vs.
Perceiving. While highly popular for team-building, it is criticized for
oversimplifying behavior into strict categories.
DISC Assessment: Evaluates behavior and communication styles
across four primary traits: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and
Conscientiousness. It is widely used by companies to optimize workplace
communication and team-building because it focuses on changeable behaviors
rather than fixed traits.
The Big Five (OCEAN Model): Measures personality along a
spectrum of 5 core traits: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion,
Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. This is the gold standard framework favored by
academic researchers and psychologists due to its high reliability and
predictive validity.
HEXACO Personality Inventory: Expands upon the Big Five model
by adding a sixth dimension: Honesty-Humility. It evaluates traits related to
fairness, sincerity, and materialism alongside standard emotional and social
scales.